Women Blog

Today, I had an amazing call with an amazing women survivor.  Not recalling how she had found me i.e. my “Believing In You!” podcast, she was completely caught off guard by my words in my most recent email.  More specifically the word “ABUSE!”

As I shared, Mary (not her real name) a women with the physical evidence to prove that she has been through hell and back and paid the price for it, listened and shared as well and ultimately wanted to know “how I knew?”

How did I know she was abused?  After all, Mary has not discussed her abuse with anyone and that included her own mother.

After several minutes of sharing she came to realize that perhaps the email was a blessing and an answer to a prayer.  Her life today, after several abusive husbands now has become guarded and very protective. 

It was clear to me as she spoke that her life had become what I call “a life without color!”

This is to say a life that is stripped literally of color and stimulation and setup to be as safe and secure as possible.  As I shared those words with Mary I could hear her voice relax and breath calm.  She knew I understood, she heard me loud and clear.

Today Mary lives a life that for me is a TRAGEDY!  A self made prison with a lifetime sentence with no chance for parole!

As we continued to share she started to realize and to appreciate that “I” was a man and simply could not understand how she could be sharing so openly her story.  A story screaming to be heard.

Mary’s surprise with me being a man caused her to ask, in wonder, “ARE YOU A 90 POUND WEAKLING?”  I smiled as her words warmed my heart and then I let her know “I’m a 245 pound man!” who was a top athlete growing up.  Still amazed by our open and trusting dialog she asked “so you were abused?”  “Yes,” I told her, “Yes I was!”

We talked in some length as I explained why I do what I do and share some of how I do it.  Truly an amazing women, a women who’s potential has been buried in the silence of a life scarred by abuse.

I am looking forward to working with Mary and I don’t expect a miracle because in her I already know the miracle has happened…she survived!

Before we closed our call I did ask one question; I said “You do realize that despite your physical condition you deserve to live a better life, right?”  Mary became quiet and repeated what I had asked and again I said “You know you deserve a better life, right?”

What Mary had learned from life and so bravely shared with me was she could not use the word “DESERVE!”  While she could maybe see how a different life is possible, it wasn’t possible for her!

Mary thank you for sharing your beauty with me as I told you in your voice I felt the brilliance and the energy of someone who is so much more than the life you live today. 

Thank you for your trust!

The journey to a life of freedom begins with hope and sometimes it takes someone else to remind ourselves that there is hope!  That is what I do, I remind the women I work with…

“THERE IS HOPE!”

I help them see the beauty I see and hear when I work with them.

Your Life, Your Terms!
Always with hope and love,

James

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I recently came across a list of 52 stress reducers at the “Texas Woman’s University” website.  One of the entries talks about counting to 10.

“50. Forget about counting to 10.  Count to 1,000 before doing something or saying anything that could make matters worse.”

When I read this I had to laugh and at the sametime recognize the truth of the statement.

So often it is our “ability to step back,” to “remove ourselves from the situation,” or to “take a couple deep breaths” that will determine the effectiveness of both our next choice and action.

The ability to become the observer or to distance yourself from the experience can be difficult or even feel extremely awkward at first.  It might even feel artifical at first.

Yet, how many times have you found yourself, after an emotional experience, dealing with the yuky results of an action that you would love to do over?

Having an outside observer can provide critical insight to this internal process and that is something I do as I work with women, either one-on-one or in groups.  I provide an observer’s perspective, a point of view that is not emotionally needing to have a certain outcome.

Awareness is critical when considering any journey of self-growth.

Your Life, Your Terms!

With hope and appreciation,

James

Hope + Trust + Healing = Freedom

http://www.FromHopeToFreedom.com

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If you haven’t seen my movie “From Hope To Freedom” I have begun to post movie segments on You Tube; [Click Here to view my You Tube post!]

Your Life, Your Terms!

With love and hope, James

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You and I both have many roles in life and still they are nothing more than roles.  You are not your role and your role is in no way permenant.  Rather your role has much to do with choices and understanding what it is that drives choice.

While you are not your role, your role can very well determine how you react or respond to an event. 

Your role can determine who you choose to spend time with.

Your role can determine the quality of the life you live.

Your role can change your life or you can change your role!

Who are you?  How would you respond to the question?

A mom, a worker, an executive, a lawyer, a doctor, a mechanic, a woman, a person, a wife, a lover, a friend, are any of these you?

NOPE! Try again…;-)

They may be a part of the life you live and still they are not you!

If you take away your roles what is left? 

Can you love and appreciate what is left?

As you consider these questions be kind to yourself.  Life is a learning process and you are constantly growing and changing.  Where you are today is a result of what you know and understand up to this point.

ALWAYS be kind to YOU!

With love and appreciation,

James

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…begins with “HOPE!”

Today, as I look back it is so clear for me, I have never lost “HOPE!” 

No matter the life you have lived, if you can find hope you have begun to take the first step to freedom.

For me freedom equals my life, my terms!

This week I am rolling out my new movie.  A movie based on my life experienced and my work.

Just click on the following link to view…

Hope + Trust + Healing  = Freedom

With love and hope,

James

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How far will you go to change your life…

This movie will inspire you, and challenge to ask “am I who I want to be?”

Just click on the following link and enjoy…

Hugs for free…

Life changes when you change!

I originally found this video posted in Michael Port’s blog, it really touched me.

This is the world I want live-in, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

With care,

James

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