Every female has pondered the age-old holiday dilemma — finding the perfect gift for every guy in her life. Since 1982, the gift gurus at Wireless, a catalog for curious minds, have offered gifts that are the antithesis of the traditional tie.

“The trick to selecting the best guy gift is to consider the undeniable fact that all guys are kids,” said John Ollmann, chief gift guru at Wireless. “Guys want something to play with, something that will make them laugh, something that their friends will think is cool.”

Tap into his inner child. “Think of past holidays. What were the biggest hits for the guys in your family? Likely, a toy,” said Ollmann. Pick Classic Movie Monster Bobbleheads or the Star Wars Lego Pen Set, which make a perfect stocking stuffer.

Make him laugh. Help him relive the groundbreaking humor of this year’s Mark Twain Award recipient, George Carlin, with a collection of his countercultural comedy CDs and DVDs. If he’s a fan of the Ministry of Silly Walks, he’ll want every single episode of Monty Python’s Flying Circus on DVD or CDs of Bill Cosby’s hilarious stand-up 60’s comedy.

Applaud his geeky-ness. Does your favorite guy tick with a love of clocks and watches? Math Pop Quiz Wall Clock, Spinning Roulette Watch, Square Root Watch, and Animated Train Pocket Watch are unique takes on the more traditional gift.

Celebrate his Fan-aticism. Sports phenoms will cheer when they unwrap a true-size Baseball Bat Pepper Grinder, Opening Day Collectible Baseballs, NFL Neon Football Helmet, or The Code, a book of baseball’s unwritten rules.

Acknowledge his space. Every man needs a place where he can be himself. The Man Cave sign is a fun substitute for “No girls allowed,” or present him with a personalized Harley-Davidson Outdoor Sign (must be ordered by December 10 for Christmas delivery), or Wrench Ware utensil set delivered in a rugged toolbox-style ABS case.

“And after you’ve taken care of all the guys on your list,” said Ollmann, “Reward yourself with the apropos Wonder Woman Cuff Bracelet, because you are one.”

Consumers can shop online at www.thewirelesscatalog.com (800-669-9999) through noon on December 23, requesting next day service, to receive gifts by Christmas (December 18 for Hanukkah).

The Wireless Catalog is a brand of Universal Screen Arts Company.