I've never hated anyone in my life until you. I don't even hate the man that I stupidly gave my virginity to, the man who raped me, but I hate you.

I loved you once. I stood in front of the god I believed in then and my family, with our daughter in my stomach, and exchanged promises with you, promises that I meant, promises that I don't think you ever had any intention of keeping.

I bore that child without you there. I raised her in her first year alone. A few years later, I gave birth to our son...the son you wanted...and the son you now don't like because he is more like me than like you. I watched and protested while you did nothing for them. You thought parenting was all about punishing. You never cried when they got sick. You never sat beside our son's bed when he was small and burning with fever terrified he would have a seizure and die.

I remember those two defining moments in my life...moments I wish I could go back and change. Moments that, at times, I would give anything in my life to go back and change. The first one when you stood there smiling at me asking who I had a crush on and I took my heart in my hands and said, "you". I wish I had just laughed and said no one and walked away. The second when we went on our first date and you asked me to be your girlfriend. I wish I had said no.

I hate myself sometimes that I didn't say no. And I hate you for having so much control over my life. I hate you for the way you treated me. I hate you for the way you treat our children.

You are the only person on this earth I have ever wished dead. I wish you dead now. It would be worth whatever Karmic backlash I may face.

I hope you die in Iraq. I hope you feel such pain that it is 10 fold the pain you've caused me and our children.